Journalist:   There has been some unpatriotic criticism about government agents collecting  information on all American’s emails and phone calls without any due process.  Governor Romney—what is your view?

Romney:  It is a shortcut to protecting America. We don’t need due process to electronically eavesdrop on American’s phone calls.  And we don’t need probable cause to run powerful software programs to analyze emails.  I am convinced that government bureaucrats would never misuse those powers or your personal information. Violating civil liberties is the way to go in order to enhance our security.

Journalist:  And you sir?

TNE:  No more illegal wiretapping of American citizens.  No more National security letters to spy on citizens who are not suspected of a crime.  No more ignoring the law when it is inconvenient.  That is not who we are…and that is the position President Obama used to have—it’s what got him elected.  That was the change he promised.

Romney:  That is right—he changed his position on this.  I have always been willing to sacrifice civil liberties for security.

Obama:  Well let me say first that I brought Osama bin Laden to justice.  I won’t apologize for that.  I signed an extension of the Patriot Act without any changes because it was the right thing to do.  Similar to my position on Gay marriage, my position on warrantless wiretapping and invading the privacy of email has evolved.  Now I think it is a good thing.

Journalist:  Very well said.  God bless America.

Romney:  Hey that’s my line.

TNE:  There is no difference between these two on this issue.  The separation of powers works.  Our Constitution works.  We should again set an example for the world that the law is not subject to the whims of charismatic rulers and that justice is not arbitrary.

Journalist:  While we fix the technical difficulties let’s recap the top news:  Katy Perry’s new film is looking tasty.